Reflections

Reflections

Finally another blog post…and the final one while in India.  Just looking over the number of posts during the past two years shows the integration process here.  At first, everything new…and in India that means an assault to the senses.  I was creating blog posts constantly in my head, though many did not make it out of my head.  My mind was so poetic with all the sensory experiences.  I was also, for one of the first times in my life, not obligate to do anything in particular, so I had plenty of time to write.  This second year, things started for feel more “normal” and the newness had worn off.  We were creating a lifestyle here, not just feeling like visitors.  It was a difficult year for Greg professionally and I felt like I spent a lot more time in the present, supporting and allowing him to go through his process.  So less blogs happened, though I still thought of blog posts in my head constantly during experiences.

As the theme of this post is reflection, we are a day away from transitioning back to the US, to Eagle County…back to work and observing the changes in ourselves as we settle back in.  When I look at the past two years, what stands out for both of us (in my opinion) is the transformations we have gone through and continue to go through.  It’s been challenging and the process has created some lasting insights.

I came to India feeling lost, unsure of what was next in life for me professionally.  I also reached a point where I was tired of the emotional patterns I had been trapped in for so long…which, of course, followed me to India. J There have been a lot of lessons in letting go.  Letting go of thoughts and ideas, opening myself to other possibilities.  Letting go of fear and excuses to dive into the unknown so that I could glimpse other potentials out there for myself.   India is a place that is steeped in spirituality with every corner and nook holding some place of worship or some deity.  The history of spirituality is long and deep.  It is in the air, it is in the culture, it is in the very being of everything here.  Life does not exist without it. 

We will be returning to the US where fear and control are at the very essence of our culture.  Luckily that culture is a few hundred years old verses many thousands.  I have some concern about how much of that fear and control will try to pull and draw me back in.  I am hopeful that the experiences and personal lessons I have learned will allow me to be aware and conscious, question things, and find my own way.  I am hopeful because there is a growing momentum in the US that is trying to change this mentality as it is creating so much misery in ourselves and for the culture as a collective.

As many of you know, yoga has been an integral part of my experience while in India.  Now a certified teacher, I will continue yoga as a lifestyle.  I am excited to see where this will lead.  I’ve realized that I have been going through a “letting go” of an identity that struggled with past experiences.  Growing up in a privileged household, existing in a privileged country…running from this, trying to be something else.  Having realized I can’t run from myself, I’ve begun to accept myself and be open to what these experiences have allowed me to learn.  I’m excited to see how my new outlook on myself and my life will mesh with life in the US.  I feel like India has protected me for a little while, allowed me to grow and discover and now it’s time to go back and live.

I plan on documenting my observations and experiences as Greg and I transition to our new situation, as well as my experiences on the path of yoga.  So, stay tuned for how that will look…maybe a new name for our blog…maybe my own blog. 

Until then…