Reflections
Finally another blog post…and the final one while in
India. Just looking over the number of
posts during the past two years shows the integration process here. At first, everything new…and in India that
means an assault to the senses. I was
creating blog posts constantly in my head, though many did not make it out of
my head. My mind was so poetic with all
the sensory experiences. I was also, for
one of the first times in my life, not obligate to do anything in particular,
so I had plenty of time to write. This
second year, things started for feel more “normal” and the newness had worn
off. We were creating a lifestyle here,
not just feeling like visitors. It was a
difficult year for Greg professionally and I felt like I spent a lot more time
in the present, supporting and allowing him to go through his process. So less blogs happened, though I still
thought of blog posts in my head constantly during experiences.
As the theme of this post is reflection, we are a day away
from transitioning back to the US, to Eagle County…back to work and observing
the changes in ourselves as we settle back in.
When I look at the past two years, what stands out for both of us (in my
opinion) is the transformations we have gone through and continue to go
through. It’s been challenging and the
process has created some lasting insights.
I came to India feeling lost, unsure of what was next in
life for me professionally. I also
reached a point where I was tired of the emotional patterns I had been trapped
in for so long…which, of course, followed me to India. J There have been a lot of lessons
in letting go. Letting go of thoughts
and ideas, opening myself to other possibilities. Letting go of fear and excuses to dive into
the unknown so that I could glimpse other potentials out there for myself. India is a place that is steeped in
spirituality with every corner and nook holding some place of worship or some
deity. The history of spirituality is
long and deep. It is in the air, it is
in the culture, it is in the very being of everything here. Life does not exist without it.
We will be returning to the US where fear and control are at
the very essence of our culture. Luckily
that culture is a few hundred years old verses many thousands. I have some concern about how much of that
fear and control will try to pull and draw me back in. I am hopeful that the experiences and
personal lessons I have learned will allow me to be aware and conscious,
question things, and find my own way. I
am hopeful because there is a growing momentum in the US that is trying to
change this mentality as it is creating so much misery in ourselves and for the
culture as a collective.
As many of you know, yoga has been an integral part of my
experience while in India. Now a
certified teacher, I will continue yoga as a lifestyle. I am excited to see where this will
lead. I’ve realized that I have been
going through a “letting go” of an identity that struggled with past
experiences. Growing up in a privileged
household, existing in a privileged country…running from this, trying to be
something else. Having realized I can’t
run from myself, I’ve begun to accept myself and be open to what these
experiences have allowed me to learn.
I’m excited to see how my new outlook on myself and my life will mesh
with life in the US. I feel like India
has protected me for a little while, allowed me to grow and discover and now
it’s time to go back and live.
I plan on documenting my observations and experiences as
Greg and I transition to our new situation, as well as my experiences on the
path of yoga. So, stay tuned for how
that will look…maybe a new name for our blog…maybe my own blog.
Until then…
